Lok Satta

Friday, 09 November 2012 07:07


No booth grabbing in US polls, Indians aghast............

NEW DELHI: As the US election machinery gets into action for the final stage of voting, Indian netas and voters alike have been overcome by a wave of sympathy for their American counterparts.
"There has not been one incident of booth grabbing. What kind of election is this," asked an MP from Bihar.
"I thought they had a gun culture that rivals Bihar, UP and Afghanistan. But, I don't see any armed goons roaming the streets or bullying voters. These Americans really don't know anything about politics," the distraught MP added.
[For readers who have managed to read three paragraphs without realizing this is a spoof article, we assure you, it really is fake. For readers who did realize, we apologize for the interruption.]
"There were no calls to boycott the elections either. Doesn't feel right," said some former voters from Kashmir and Chhattisgarh.

A worker from a mainstream political party wanted to volunteer to go to the US to teach them how to campaign. Apparently, the lack of loudspeaker-toting open jeeps on the streets and no flags littered on the streets really affected him.
Another politician from UP was surprised to hear that there are no jailed politicians fighting the US elections. "What? No murderers in the fray? This is an outrage. It must be corrected before they can infect India with such thoughts," he screamed.
Down south, many voters were shocked at the fact that no country liquor was being offered to the "poor American" voters. "How will they make up their mind on who to vote for? These Americans know nothing about democracy," they chorused.
When told that US politicians don't offer voters colour TV sets or mixer grinders either, the voters from Tamil Nadu were aghast. Their only solace was that Americans has taken a leaf out of Indian politics and occasionally voted for filmstars like Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

A leading Indian minister said Americans must learn from India. "They should use cold hard cash for horse-trading in the senate and obviously take all their party leaders to some fancy resort and lock them in. They have much to learn from us."
""""Stories in Mocktale are works of fiction intended to bring a smile to your face. They bear no connection to events and characters in real life.'''''Artical is from TOI newspaper by a despondent correspondent...